


I'm Sorry

by Dawnyzza



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Brotherly Love, Character Death, One Shot, Other, Protective Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 17:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnyzza/pseuds/Dawnyzza
Summary: This is a small take on Loki's side of the story.





	I'm Sorry

At times he wondered if life would have been kinder had it ended in the frozen landscape of Jotunheim. If the light of life had been extinguished as a mere babe he would have been spared all the trials, pain and suffering. However on the other side of the coin he would have never felt his mothers soft hands run through his hair, her soft embraces and comforting words, how she made all the pain go away by simply existing alone. He would have never felt his brothers firm comforting battle calloused hand on the side of his neck, never heard him laugh, see the different emotions open like a book in his blue eyes sparkling with life. If he had not been Thor's brother the blond would still be the same arrogant, selfish, cruel, fool of a boy he was before his banishment. His presence had been a good influence on Thor, whether he was the only person able to see it or not.  
He had tried to protect them all, for no matter how hurt he was to have his entire identity stripped from him, he loved his family with all his heart. So with cruel words of detachment, resentment, words that were not true though had to be uttered, were all words of protection. Protection from something he could never bring himself to tell them, for in doing so he would enlighten them of a threat, a threat they could never beat in battle, a threat that would crush them all until all that was left was the dust in the wind. A threat whose name he never dared voice aloud in fear of it somehow sensing it, and in doing so reveal his position in a cell deep beneath the royal palace in Asgard. To set those unforgiving eyes on his home would be a death sentence to half of all life in the realm. Nevertheless he was already damaged beyond recognition, had been to hell and back, had his mind tempered with by an infinity stone to such a degree his own family could not recognize him. He could not recognize his own mind. He, however, hid his own suffering well behind a mask of rage and indifference, gave them reason after reason to hate him, to never forgive him. What they did not know of his attack on Midgard was that he could have easily conquered the realm, however he did not wish to be one of Thanos’s pawns and decided to warn Midgard without arousing suspicion from the Chitauri leader that was constantly observing his moves. He decided to give Midgard a chance to defend themselves, make it known that they were not alone in the universe. Decided to force a band of selected powerful individuals to fight as one to defend their home. Though, to make it believable he needed to shake the Chitauri leader in his mind by the only means possible to sever such a connection; physical trauma. So he provoked the beast.  
Hope of a swift death by the hand of his father once back in Asgard was however not an option for his dear mother, bless her soul, who begged for his life to be spared. His heart was to remain beating until he either found a way out of the translucent illuminated walls of his cage or until Thanos mustered up the courage to challenge the Allfather in person to claim the space stone for himself and deal out punishment toward the one who failed in bringing it to the titan in the first place. His mother’s death was his fault, that was a simple fact, for he told the Kursed which staircase to take. He murdered his own mother, so when a chance to avenge her death arose, he knew it would be his one and only chance of making amends for the grave mistake of being the death bringer of his own mother, though also his only way out of his cage and getting Thanos off his trail for good. Besides, Thor admitted to no longer feel any kinship to him. He had in short nothing left to lose. The blade that pierced his chest, however, had been very real and not a trick, and to this day he do not know how he survived. All he knew is that he woke up alone in the desolate wasteland of Svartalfheim, and wasted no time in using this to his advantage. He was still cross with his father for the words he had uttered at his trial, so he sought out the grief weathered king, took his place and impersonated him for a few years. Instead of taking the easy way out and take a second leap off the bifrost or jump onto a sharp blade once more, he cultivated a plan on how to kill Thanos, a plan that would require him to leave everything behind, and for everyone else to leave him behind. In the end there was only one way, which brings him back to the present. Though it pained him tremendously there was only one way to ensure the Mad Titan never looked behind his shoulder to ensure nobody was to stab him in the back. So he did what needed to be done. He needed the entire universe to believe he no longer existed. No matter how much his already roughly stitched together shattered heart ached to hear his brother’s broken whisper utter the final prayer it had to be done. 

“May Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard, rightful heir of Jotunheim, God of Mischief, my little brother… take his place in the halls of Valhalla where the brave shall live forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on this website. A little heads-up (I write at the end of the story, way to go) English is not my first language so bear with me on that. I'd love to know what you think and I'm all for constructive critism.


End file.
